Wears glasses and slouches
I have seen spiders. That is not a fucking spider.

incorrecttolkienquotes:

- Sam, to Frodo, book III, chapter IX

… well that was a bad decision.

incorrecttolkienquotes:

- Túrin Turambar, The Children of Húrin

I killed a Balrog. You are so outclassed it’s not even funny.

incorrecttolkienquotes:

- Glorfindel, to the Nazgûl on the banks of the Bruinen, book I, chapter XII

You’re sort of like my grandpa, except a hell of a lot cooler.

incorrecttolkienquotes:

- Merry, to Theoden, book V, chapter III

There are two types of people in the world. Those who say “Sure, go ahead, marry my daughter!” and those who say “No, you don’t make the cut.” And then there’s Thingol.

incorrecttolkienquotes:

- Beren, the Silmarillion, Of Beren and Lúthien

incorrecttolkienquotes:

"goddamn it feanor" -everyone (definitely) at some point in the silmarillion

A hundred mother fuckers can’t tell me nuthin’
- Fëanor, on diplomacy, the Silmarillion, Of the Flight of the Noldor
(via incorrecttolkienquotes)

zooophagous:

North American River Otters

So it turns out my coworker takes constructive criticism really poorly.

incorrecttolkienquotes:

- Gandalf, book II, chapter I